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Life is a cruel game. Over its course, you win some and you lose some. We all know this. You’re dealt a good hand and you reap the benefits for a (more often than not) short time, after which—in a daze of good feelings and the utmost confidence—you throw all of your chips in waiting for the next win…and lose spectacularly. It’s that constant cycle we all find ourselves locked in, and all we can do is live it, whether we want to accept it or not. But why do the losses seem to carry so much more weight than the wins? Why does the negativity of the problems, pains, bad feelings and sorrow of losing seem to carry more weight than the positivity of the solutions, relief, good feelings and joy when we win? It’s like any substance-induced euphoria. Everything is swell for a short period of time, then inevitably it all falls apart. You crash. Until your next fix, that is. The wins are the band-aids of life. They are temporary fixes for the wounds opened by the losses. When the wounds heal, a scar remains. Then like a disease, the losses come back to plague once more. And the cycle continues. The only escape, the only total relief, the only way out of this cruel game is another inevitability we face: death. Too bad such a permanent solution is simply not an option to consider until it finally reaches us in its own time. Some may tell you that we all want to win one-hundred percent of the time. But if that were the case, we would have no free agency. We would not ever fail at the game. Everyone would win the grand prize. There would be no variety, no spontaneity, no choices to make. It’s a sad truth. So why, then, can’t the wins be more frequent? Why can’t the euphoria last longer? Why can’t everything just work out the way we want it to? We know the rules of the game and we play it because we have no choice. But the results, like a “fair” card game, are truly random. In the grand scheme of things, nothing happens for a reason. Nothing. It’s all random. Even if you believe in a creator, do you really think he/she/they/it sits there and orchestrates everyone’s life path? It can’t be. Otherwise we would not be the sole masters of our own destiny. We would have no free agency. Those who believe that everything happens for a reason are simply rationalizing these random life events to reach a conclusion. An explanation. We yearn to completely understand everything, but we can’t. We want simple, easily understandable explanations and reasons for things that we cannot begin to explain or fully comprehend. No one can simply accept things as they are without seeing light at the end of the tunnel. If we resign ourselves to the fact that we can’t find a reasonable explanation for something that happens to us, we take comfort in the thought that someone else (God) has already figured it out. It’s a terrible coping mechanism. As much as we explain it away and try to ignore it, the fact still remains: some things will never have conclusions. We need to own up to this fact. Life is random. Life happens randomly. Ignore this and you’re simply fooling yourself. Forgive me for waxing philosophic. I need to hash these thoughts out because I’m getting sick and tired of this damn game. It’s wearing me out and forcing me to go places I don’t want to be. I’ve been holding out hope that somehow I can cheat the game, shift the odds so they’re in my favor. Haven’t quite figured it out yet. I perceive that many people around me are in love. They’ve got someone to identify with, to share affection with, simply enjoy their companionship. A love that is reciprocated so both parties benefit. I’m in love too, but it stops short of reciprocation. Here is where well-intentioned friends spew out advice drawn from movie clichés: talk to them, express your feelings in the open. Get it off your chest, don’t hide it. But what if hiding it were your only option? What if expressing your true feelings had the potential to destroy a beautiful friendship that you hold dear? Therein lies the dilemma. Because bottling those feelings inside just eats you alive. These feelings want to be known but the rational brain won’t allow it. The unfortunate side affect of this is the opening of deep wounds. It kills me to be able to spend time with someone and get a great deal of enjoyment out of it, all while wanting so much more and being barred from having it. Seeing the face and hearing the voice you want to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life. Shaking hands you wish were caressing you. Watching lips move that you long to taste. Wanting so desperately to share the bounty of love you hold inside of you. And have it reciprocated. And then trying your best to resign yourself to the fact that you can never have it. Them. At this point I’m forecasting a life of loneliness and celibacy. Certainly not what I want, and quite a bleak outlook. I need a break, because this really fucking sucks. I’m tired. Cruel (and Random) Game of Life, go screw yourself. I hate you. Yet I can't live without you. Tags: depressed-banter, lamentations, musings, no-sympathy-please
Current Location: sleeping quarters, place of residence
Current Mood: take a wild guess
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So months have gone by since I initially fed the rumor mill about our dear Ms. Sweet's upcoming video. First I have to make a correction: Sweet's new project does NOT involve Tera Patrick. Misinformation always comes packaged with hearsay. We now have the definite truth: Jessica Sweet no longer exists. Which brings us to a certain press release... HOLLYWOOD, CA – Britney Rears is coming to a city near you!
X-Play, the production company owned by Jeff Mullen and Scott David has entered into a distribution deal with LFP’s VCA label for the debut of Britney Rears...
The lifestyle movie features Britney with her sexy girlfriends doing what superstars do naturally. Limos, private Gulfstream jets, beautiful mansions, concert footage and hot, youthful hardcore sex are packed into an appealing package that has all of the indications of becoming a hugely successful title...
“We’re having fun with Britney and our potential audience is worldwide. We will market full force including some big VCA advertising including the full page ad in the February issue of AVN”, Mullen remarks.
Peter Reynolds, vp of sales and marketing for VCA Pictures commented, “I really love this project. Britney is a knockout and this is the total package. We’re going to really have some fun with this project”.
Check out ‘Britney Rears: Wild Back Stage Sex Party’ in stores March 8th from X-Play/VCA.In true cheesy porno style, the young, naturally large-breasted Jessica Sweet has been reinvented as Britney Rears, a "pop star/porn star". Apparently this name change has also allowed X-Play to market her as a newcomer to the industry, but forum and blog activity on the internet finds that Jessica Sweet fans know what's up. Some apparently don't like the name change and prefer her old stage name over the new image. On HeyFreak.com one visitor quips about the new identity: Yeah, it suprised me. I'm a big fan of Jessica's I.R. scenes. I don't dig the new name, though. Just to [sic] stale...This got a response from a poster who used the name "Tiffany" but claimed to be Rears herself (I'm not going to bother with the [sic] here, all the speeling erorrs are her's: This is Britney Rears. Please let me explain what is going on in my life. I was Jessica which was nothing in the industry and I got an oppirtunity to become something a star. I changed my name to Britney Rears and ever since than Im becoming more popular and making more . I had a lot of experiences which where not good as Jessica. Thats a part of my life I want to put in the past. The industry names aren't real so if I want to change my name to Britney Rears become a star and make more than its better being Britney Rears and I only wish it would have came earlier in my life. For years to come I will be known as the famous Britney Rears porn star. Love yea all Britney In conclusion, Jessica doesn't exist there is only Britney Rears. There will only be Britney .So, here I come world!!Over at HeyFreak sister site Candy for Nerds, more complaints were voiced... Here's cutie Britney Rears, formerly known as Jessica Sweet. Who the hell names these girls, anyway? I thought Jessica Sweet was a cute name. Britney Rears? Augh, I think it's a bad move on her part.
Of course, most people probably don't care what the fuck she calls herself, as long as they get to keep watching her get fucked, right? Right.Poster "craig" quipped, "This Girl is so hot. The name is a disaster." And finally Britney offered some last words in a posting that seemed a bit more legit than her last... Hey guys!
I was cruising around the net and saw that you had my picture up. It was great to meet you at the AEE Mike, and thank you for taking a good picture of me.smile
Come by my website at britneyrears.com, because I have a trailer, a photo gallery of me and my girlfriends and a download of my theme song, "I Wanna Get Laid" all on there for your solo pleasure.
Who knows, I just might be in YOUR town soon, when I start my 30 stop signing tour.
OOOOXXX,
BritneyYou heard it right. Theme song. A novelty song is part of the Britney Rears package, with tactful, thought-provoking lyrics like "My name is Britney, my tits are real / All of the boys wanna cop a feel / My ass is tight and my hair ain't real / Lip synching songs, got a record deal". Nice. Check out BritneyRears.com for the song and movie trailer. More as this story develops. Listening to: Kill Bill Vol. 1
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Via News.com.com... How gory is that game? [link to article]By David Becker Staff Writer, CNET News.com A coalition of religious and family groups criticized video game makers Tuesday for creating products that allegedly glorify murder and hate crimes--and slammed retailers for selling such games to minors. A group led by the Interfaith Center on Corporate Responsibility, an investor advocacy group, released its list of the 10 most violent games as a warning to parents about to set out on holiday shopping expeditions. "Unwary parents and grandparents need to know there are certain violent games that should be off-limits to children," said Sister Pat Wolf, executive director of ICCR, singling out games such as "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" that reward players for killing and looting characters. "These are the kind of values a serial killer might embrace," she said. Aside from "Grand Theft," the list includes recent best-sellers such as "Halo 2," "Doom 3" and "Half Life 2." The report also singled out "America's Army," a free game distributed by the U.S. Army as a recruiting tool. Wolf criticized it for being available to users regardless of age. "JFK Reloaded," a controversial new game that re-enacts the assassination of John F. Kennedy, came out too late to make the list but attracted comments during a Tuesday ICCR press conference to promote the report. New York City Councilman Eric Gioia said the game is an extreme example of what's wrong with the game industry. "I couldn't believe someone would choose to make money on something as scarring to the American psyche as this," Gioia said. The report goes on to criticize the ratings system devised by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) to label potentially objectionable games, saying the system is too vague and enforced haphazardly at best by retailers. Gioia said his own research showed retailers made no efforts to prevent preteens from buying games rated "M" (intended for players 17 and older) in the vast majority of cases. "An investigation I conducted last year showed a minor could walk into almost any store selling video games in New York City and purchase them without difficulty," he said. Retail trade group the Interactive Entertainment Merchants Association said in a statement that retailers are committed to enforcing ESRB ratings and are demanding identification from young buyers. "It is our belief that it is quite simply too early to assign a grade to the retailers' enforcement policies," the IEMA said in a statement, "but that if a grade need be assigned out of habitual ritual, nothing less than an 'A' is worthy of their collective efforts over the past 11 months." Digital agenda Contributors to the report also criticized the ESRB ratings themselves, saying they're too vague and are mainly intended to shield game makers from criticism. "Adults need to understand game makers and retailers simply are not on their side," Wolf said. The ESRB released a report Monday highlighting a self-commissioned survey that found more than 80 percent of parents considered the group's ratings appropriate and helpful. "As confirmed by the study just completed, the ESRB rating system is an extremely effective tool for the millions of consumers who rely on it as they shop for entertainment software for their families," Patricia E. Vance, president of the ESRB, said in a statement. Other groups contributing to the violent-games list went further, calling on retailers to apply the same criteria to games they apply to other media. Dr. Martha Burk, president of the Center for Advancement of Public Policy, noted that leading retailer Wal-Mart bans sexually explicit magazines and CDs but continues to sell "Grand Theft Auto" games. "The retailers have standards for other products," Burk said. "Would Wal-Mart sell a board game where a player has to have sex with a prostitute to move forward four spaces and then kill her to move forward another six spaces? I don't think so."
Hey, whiney, bitching parents...THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD VOLUNTARY RATINGS SYSTEM IN PLACE. That's all you need. It's NOT a company's responsibility, it's not a store's responsibility to shield your children. Do you know who's job that is? YOUR'S. So quit fucking whining and make sure you know what your kids are playing and that it fits with the standards and morals that you want to impress on your family. Don't ask someone else to be the nanny for you. End of rant.
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